Tuesday, July 20, 2010

The Voices in my head keep telling me what to do... But WAIT! That's the TV!

'Buy Now and SAVE! '
'Get younger looking skin NOW! '
'Cover your Gray NOW!'

Do you ever get the feeling people are telling you what to do?

I sure do, and I'm not gonna take it anymore!

If I don't buy anything, you know what? I'll save even more.

And my skin is very young looking, because, well, I'm not old. If I look any younger my kids will be older than me!

Gray? Moi? Yeah, caught gray-haired with Miss Clairol on my hands.
Yes, I color my gray- only because it's not gray, it's wiry, white and thicker than all the other hairs on my head. Don't want to look OLDER than I am, right?

Who died and made the commercial people the boss of the world anyway?
Oh, the moral compass broke and made them the boss.

Are commercials more bossy and aggressive now?
Or do I just notice it more?

Nope, they are pushier and bossier and more condescending than they used to be.
And they dummy down to sell products. Like the world population is too stupid to understand big words, literary references, classic quotes and music.

Now the question is ...

Are the average consumers less intelligent, more illiterate (and alliterate) than the ones before because of the lack of drive and motivation to excel, or because they are dummying down commercials, TV programs and music; telling people what to do and when and how to do it?

Using poor grammar, slang and bad taste all the while.

Commercialism at it's finest?
Some would say so.

Me, anyone telling me what to do is automatically suspect.

I am not a robot and I CAN think for myself...

Doesn't mean I won't actually go out and buy what ther're hawking on TV...
It just means I'm going to think about it and then buy it when I'm ready, and not before...

Unless the sale is about to end, then I might have to run out and buy quick, like the commercials want us to...

because a penny saved is a penny saved and you never know when you might need an real-live, actual penny, do you?

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Things I ask myself... sometimes I even answer!

Yes. I talk to myself. Often.
No. I do not often answer myself.
At least I don't think it's often.
You may disagree.

WE've decided to agree to disagree on that point.

Oh, the point?

Is that sometimes one finds talking aloud is helpful and often gives another perspective on a problem or solution.

I know, it's still your own persepctive, but it's out loud, so that makes it totally different! Sheesh!

Back to topic, please...

I ask myself questions all day long like:


"Is it still Saturday if I haven't been to bed yet?"

"Dishwasher? Dishes? Dirty? Maybe I should check?"

"Did I vacuum lately? Should I vacuum?"

"Where are the boys?" "Where are the girls?"

"Maybe I should call the neighbors to see if the kids are there?"

Sometimes I even answer myself:

"Saturday! Thank God! Go back to sleep BusyMom... you can get at least another 30 minutes!
You're Welcome."

"Yes- it is still the day before if you haven't gotten into bed yet. So even though you know it's 6am Sunday, for YOU it is still Saturday. Sunday will start when you get out of bed in 2 hours.
You're Welcome."

"Who cares if the dishes are clean or dirty... just use a paper towel! Good Grief!"

"Vacuuming takes so much energy and the floor still looks good... and it's raining and you know the kids will be tracking sand in until the ground dries out...so no vacuuming.
You're Welcome."

"The boys are playing videos next door, the girls are somewhere else doing their hair/makeup/clothes... Thank GOD!"

"And don't bother to call. They won't answer anyway, what with all the maiming and mutiltating going on... those playskool people really are tough!
You wish it was playskool instead of World of Warcraft...
at least the playskool people are cute."

Does answering myself make me nuts?
"No!" I tell myself. It keeps me focused and on track so that I don't forget what I was going to do.

And how else would I solve all the problems that come up in life...
you don't think I actually have time to do it all by myself, do you?

"Why No!" I tell Myself...

Myself says "You're Welcome."

Friday, July 16, 2010

Friday Foto Feature

Okay today IS Friday.
But I lied. There is no photo feature.
Instead there texts...The ACTUAL texts I got from BratChild this week while she's been out of town.

And please... she really is a smart and intelligent girl... you just can't tell from the texts, I know.

"we watched a raccoon eat cat food. didnt know they liked that"
"U R wrong. My makeup dosnt look like a raccoon"
"went to conowingo dam. its big. it had a lot of water"
"i'll cut ur hair for u"

And that my friends it what I heard about from my daughter while she has been gone all week long.
Hey, at least I heard from her, right?

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Has Oprah forgotten the little people... no, not the leprechauns, the dwindling middle class!

I saw the cover of the August 2010 issue of O magazine the other day.

As usual, Oprah was there, looking all cute in some capris and a cute cardigan over an adorable blouse.

The caption read: Everything Oprah's wearing is under $100!

Well, Hot Dog! I think to myself. I'll check out the resources page and find out where some of those cute clothes came from...

But wait!

I just noticed there are little pointers from the blouse, the pants, the sweater, the belt, the jewelry that lead back to price tags.

Belt- $53 Shoes-$69
Pants- $80 Bracelets- $20-$95
Blouse-$70 Earrings- $44

Okay- so every ARTICLE of clothing and accessories she was wearing was UNDER $100.
Which is a shame cuz I really like those pants. And that sweater. And those cute shoes.

But, unlike Oprah, I have a rather large family on a rather tight budget. $80 pants are definitely NOT on it. Nor are the $55 watch and $70 sweater.

Just once I'd like to see a list of Oprah's faves that real people can afford.
None of these 1000 count egyptian cotton t-shirts that cost $40 each. Or the butt-hugging jeans that start at $110 a pair. Or the oh-so-comfy looking PJ's and robe... I put the price out of my head since I knew I would never be able to afford them, that's how much they are!

So Oprah, if you read my blog in this lifetime of ever, please think about me, er I mean us, the ever-shrinking middle class tax-paying people who are trying to keep up with the rising cost of living while raising healthy, well-adjusted children who will one day be the leaders of the world...
Okay- who may one day be prodictive members of society... close enough, right?

Take pity on us and give a list of your favorite things that we may someday actually be able to buy.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

The Free-Radicals are coming, the Free-Radicals are coming! ... I'm thinking this IS NOT what Paul Revere was worried about

I am increasingly concerned about my health and welfare.

I have to watch my weight- it's supposed to go down but...
eat fresh foods, drink more water, cut back caffiene, stop smoking (I'll get right on that one!), wear SPF EVERY FREAKIN DAY, floss daily, laugh more, worry less!

But how can I?

Antioxidants. Free-Radicals. Carcinogens. Electromagnetic fields. Radiation. Microwaves...

These are all out there, in the common space the world shares.
And, they're out to get us all!

I'm not really sure what a free-radical is. Or an Antioxidant either, for that matter.
But they are bad or good or something ... right?

Maybe I should start watching The View or The Doctors or The Something...

But I'd rather sit on the deck in the sun reading a book drinking a pot of coffee enjoying a cigarette, or two, while wearing my SPF face cream and body lotion, with sunglasses on, sitting UNDER the awning in the shade.

And yes, I do meet the daily water intake recommended, and eat salads and fresh fruits and yogurt and whole grains...

Most, er, a lot of the time.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Yes, Sure, No Problem.... words to ban from my vocabulary... tomorrow

There are those who Do and those who DO NOT.

I happen to be a DO...
I WISH I was a DO NOT.

I DO the whole involved-mom-who-volunteers-for-everything... ummm, thing.

I DO help out friends who need me, when I can... and even when I can't...

I have a friend who has a brain tumor I am helping a couple days a week; a friend who needs someone to work in her store now and again... and then some.

Football and Soccer season are about to start... officially, although mini-camp and conditioning and drop-in games have been going since school got out last month.

I DO work a real job... it's part-time, but staying up all night and then all the next day running people hither and yon and myself to and fro...
Who needs sleep anyway?

Fatique is my middle name, or perhaps it SHOULD be?

The DO NOT's do not do all that I DO.

They DO NOT run kids from high school conditioning to drop-in soccer to rec league mini-camp to DeMolay to Rainbow to picnics to parades to community service events and fundraisers...

They DO NOT have THE GIRLS swimming in their pool, the neighborhood boys skate boarding in their drives, the she-dog next door visiting their yard to play with THE DUKE (all 100 furry pounds of gorgeous lab... that she-dog has good taste!), family and friends stopping in... then staying for 2,3,4 days.

They DO NOT spend evenings watching their kids at ball practice.
They DO NOT spend weekends flipping burgers and serving up fries, cleaning up trash, lining fields...
They DO NOT spend hours and hours each week wracking up enough miles to have driven to California, but never having gone more than 30 miles in any direction.
They DO NOT lose sleep worrying about other people's kids, health, financial problems.

I wonder what it is exactly that they do DO?

One day my wish will come true, and I too will be a DO NOT...

I only hope I'm alive to know about it!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Out of the Loop... and other things people say

Have you ever noticed how the things people say change with each generation?

Each one wants to be unique, and in an attempt to be unique they repeat what the generations before have done.

They make up new slang words, they listen to outrageous music, they dress a little oddly... okay, a lot oddly in many cases.

These they do to be original.

And in so doing, they are anything but.

They are predictable.
They become a whole generation of funny looking, funny talking weirdos with weirdo music.

Just like every single generation that has gone before.

The kids in the 1920's?
They wore fox skin coats, straw hats and listened to racey ragtime music.

The 1930's?
Well heck yeah! Prohibition, Flappers, Speak Easy's... the kid's were partying and placing bets and smoking and drinking... everything THEIR parents warned against.

The 1950's?
Have you seen Rebel Without a Cause? Okay then, Grease?
Hot Rods, smoking, drinking, scandalous pants on girls, boys wearing t-shirts instead of dress shirts and Heaven Forbid! No Hats!

Do I even have to mention the Flower Children of the 1960's?
Free Love, Drugs, The Rolling Stones, Woodstock, Communes...

Hip, Cool, Neat, Rad, Gnarly, Hot, Bad, Awesome... these all mean something is GOOD.

And all have been used, and re-used, since the 1920's...

Mayhaps each 'NEW' generation isn't as original as it thinks it is?

The only real problem I have with this show of originality in the NOW generation is...

The language.

Do we really need to say the F-word every other second?
Is it really necessary to say S--t to every thing?

I admit, I need to clean up my language... but I do say things like Wowsers! and Holy Cow! and JiminyChirstmas! and Shoot-shucks-darn!

So frequently in fact, that many people at the ball fields say they can always find me on the sidelines, they just follow my expletives!

I like all music- pop, rock, rap, jazz, country, classical, big band... well- no Screamo please... but the language of cuss words, slandering womanhood, raping, pillaging... is not a show of how original this generation is, but rather, how ignorant and illiterate they are...

Definitely NOT the way I would want the world to see me and my fellow Generation Nows.

Perhaps the rap groups and the gang bangers will mature and stop cussing, killing and bragging about it...

Or perhaps, they will all die out and the well-read, literate individuals will be able to step in...

If there's anyone left, that is.

Friday, July 2, 2010


Featuring the Awesome Talent of BratChild

Scenes from everyday life...

Seen everyday...

but never REALLY Seen

Show Your Passion For Life By Helping A TEEN Keep Theirs!

SUPPORT To Write Love On Her Arms...

Teen Suicide prevention and education... Every One Deserves Another Chance To LIVE

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Let's Get Crazy. Let's Go Nuts!

Nuts, nuts, nuts.

Macadamias, almonds, pecans, pistachios- the green ones, not the ones dyed red.

I love all nuts.

Except peanuts. And a random relative, or two.

They make my throat feel scratchy and my voice gets phlegmy and then I can't swallow around the HUGE lump stuck in the middle of my throat... oh yeah, then I have trouble breathing.

So, I avoid peanuts. And peanut butter. And Snickers. And M&M's...

This peanut thing is new so I'm still figuring out what to avoid.

Who knew peanuts are in ALMOST everything?

Other than the peanut farmers I mean.

Note to self:

If economy contiues to spiral downward... look into becoming a peanut farmer.

If Jimmy Carter could do it, I can too.