Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Time in a bottle, All this time, Time is on your side... well, yeah if it's in a bottle it is! Sometimes music says it all
Where does it go? Where does it come from? Why is there never enough?
I have lived a life constantly being pulled in one direction or another...usually at the same time.
I cannot even begin to estimate the number of times when I was expected to be at the ball field (most likely 2),a PTA meeting, napping for a night shift and picking one of the kids up from work at the exact same time. This was a common schedule 6 or 7 nights a week. Weekends were even more hectic, if you can believe it!
To help destress and find time... well, not really find it as once it's gone that's it, it's gone. But to allow myself some down time and hopefully, help my health, I have cut the PTA, bible study or book club, the kids sports activities and reduced my work schedule over the last year.
Have I found time? Made time? Had time to myself?
YES I have.
But, I have also found myself feeling less motivated, like I am not accomplishing what I should,maybe even less focused than I used to.
Yes, the stress is less, but other stresses have stepped up to take their place. And without the constant running, running, running pace of my previous schedule I find it hard to stay on track.
I keep telling myself I need to do laundry, the dishes, make dinner, pay bills... you get the idea. And I do a load of laundry, the dishes in the sink at that moment, the dinner ...well, kids gotta eat so it has to get done! And the bills... yes I pay the ones that HAVE to get paid when they need it, but the rest? They will still be there tomorrow, or Friday or next Monday. Oh, don't get me wrong. I do pay them, I just don't feel pressed to pay them if I can do something else, like read a good book or go to lunch with a friend or have a root canal.
So, should I go back to the hectic and crazy pace I used to live? Is that the only way I can function and get everything done... in a rush under duress?
Or we could add a few more hours to each day. Or a few more days to each week. Or another month or two... but they have to be summer months.
Or, maybe I could spend more time on the internet. Maybe find some older gentleman, with money,alone in the world, in need of a companion to leave his money to... Hmmmm, that just might work.
Or, I could have my family pitch in with the house work. The little things that keep the family up and running that would let me keep the time I so desperately need.
Oh, wait... I must have been thinking of some other family.
I don't have an Aunt Bea and our last name is NOT Partridge but...
Hey, it could happen! And some strange rich old dude might leave me a million bucks on the 8th day of the week--- Repeataday. (you know, the day between Saturday and Sunday in the new week)
I may not have much, but I still have enough left for Dreaming!