Wednesday, January 6, 2010

I lied. So shoot me. Nevermind, no shooting. Unless it is with a camera...Oh Hell! Don't do that either... I promise not to lie again... ever!

I know I said I am NOT GOING TO WORRY ABOUT MY WEIGHT this year... but I lied. I admit it, I got on the scale, just curious to see how much the holidays affected me...

Why?

Well, I saw my rear in the bedroom mirror when I got dressed yesterday and it is as BIG AS A BUICK!

And not the now Buicks either. I'm talking the 1970's ones- the ones that were called BOATS because they were so HUGE!

Yep- I have a butt the size of a BUICK and my thighs have become entities unto themselves... I have never had 'inner' thigh problems... outer thigh, hips, waist, but not inner thigh... OMG! I have old lady thighs... or maybe I have elephantiasis... that MUST be it... but my elephantiasis is concentrated in the rear and thigh area...

I eat healthy and I exercise- really I do!

I came down stairs to the kitchen and put on coffee. I went down stairs to the laundry room. I came back upstairs to the kitchen. I went back up stairs to the bedroom. On the upstairs runs I was carrying the freshly laundered clothes and you know, that exercise stuff works cux it was LIGHTER than it was when I carried it down!

I admit I did some lunges too... I did 8 cuz all the exercise gurus say to do 8 reps, and man were my thighs burning after those 8... then I realized they meant to do 8 reps of 8... Ummm , according to my math that is like 64? lunges... why didn't they just say DO 64 LUNGES in the first place?

So, I did 48... I figure I gotta work my way up to the 64. Then I went down stairs to get the laundry. Guess that means I really got a work out?

Okay- give me a break! I was just traumatized by seeing a buick-sized butt in my bedroom... and it was on ME!

So back to the scale... I only got on it to see just how much a buick weighs... and now I know... about the same as a whale.. ok a new-born whale... or me right before I gave birth to my youngest child- 11 YEARS AGO!

Note to self:
1) buy more salad fixins
2) eat more yogurt and oatmeal
3) snack on carrot sticks(sans dressing)
4) throw away the Gosh Darn Scale! ( or at least put it somewhere I never go like...the gym!)
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