Sunday, January 3, 2010

How do you know the experiment is a success if no one has ever done it before? Just because you say so...?

Today I had a 'light-bulb' moment... one of the 'A-Hah!'kind Oprah talks about having.

What was my A-Hah moment about you may ask....

Reba McIntire, that's what, er, who. Up early because the pain in my joints would not allow me to linger in bed any longer without bursting into know the whole 20 degrees without the wind chill, but the wind is whipping around at 35 miles an hour so the air coming in the cracks around the doors( btw the weather stripping at Lowe's that says it keeps out cold air LIES) is more like 0 degrees, let's just say it's not conducive to comfort when you have rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia...

Anyway, out of bed with coffee in hand, I manage to shuffle to the family room leather sofa- which MUST have an afghan on it or else it's as cold as the wind coming in those door cracks- I scan through all 1000 cable channels trying to find something to watch early on a Sunday morning... you all know there isn't much, well aside from the obligatory 10 minutes of Televagelist's yelling at you to dig into your pockets and thank the lord with a cash donation to some church or the other...I stumbled across A&EHD Bio. And Boy Howdy! Am I glad I did cuz while watching that show I had my 'AHah' moment...

I have an Idol... okay, not an idol, maybe a hero, no that's not exactly the right word either... I have someone that I would like to be like... a Role Model I guess you would say.
The Bio was about Reba and watching her evolve into the personality that she is today, over-coming Nay-Sayers in the 80's who thought she was too out there with her red hair and southern twang, the tragedy of losing her entire band to a freakish plane crash in 1991, holding her head high when the media said she would never be a credible actress when she made Tremors and then, later the hit show 'REBA'. This is one TENACIOUS SPITFIRE OF A WOMAN!

And when I grow up I want to be just like her... I want to be strong and secure in who I am.
I want to have a faith that is unshakable in the face of adversity.
I want to have a love in my life that will never falter or let me down, one that will put me up when I am down and keep my head where it belongs... in the clouds or at the kitchen table over kid's homework...
I want to be able to look back at my life and honestly say... 'I was true to myself, my ideals and lived a life I am proud of'- I am paraphrasing what she said at the end of the BIO episode but that was the gist of it...
I want to be That Girl!

Not that I am ever remotely like Reba in any way at all... I am so NOT a size 0, I have blonde-ish hair and blue eyes that are, well, like everyone else's... I have a family with children who so DO NOT listen to what I say and talk back frequently leaving me shaking my head and wondering who exactly is the boss in the house anyway?

So my light bulb moment may not sound like much to you, but to me it's a turning point. I have never had a singer or actor or famous person that I wanted to be like or idolize. Sure I like Annie Lenox and Cyndi Lauper and Sinead O'Connor ( yes, I came of age in the 80's, don't laugh!)- but I would not say that I want to be like them. I just like them... Sandra Bullock and Julia Roberts? Love the stuff they do, and admire them as people- actresses making family life and professional life work without putting the personal stuff out there for the world to tear down... but I never wanted to be like them either.

I think the pull for me of Reba McIntire is her classic style and elegance. Whether she is onstage or portraying Lucy in a crazy skit or coping with tragedy and loss on the 6 o'clock news, she has a grace and beauty that just isn't the norm these days in Hollywood or Nashville and THAT is the thing that I want to have.

Ummm, when I grow up? Yeah, I am 40-something and have 6 kids and a husband and a mortgage and a life that seems to whirl around me like I am sitting in the eye of a hurricane...

Is it too late to trade this one in for another one? Probably is, right?

Figures, just my luck I FINALLY find someone I want to be like when I grow up and... it's too late!
Or is it... it's never too late to make positive changes in your life, is it?
WWRD, or What Would Reba Do? She would jump in with both feet and stand her ground, make decisions based on what is right and what she believes in... Hey wait... I have been doing that for years!

Maybe, just maybe, Reba has been taking after me all these years... I have over-come adversity, tragedy and loss... I've held my head high, lived my life without compromising my values and ideals...

Wow- I AM REBA MCINTIRE's ROLE MODEL! Who woulda thunk it?
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