Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Dawning.....welcome to my journey

I call the decade that was my 30's my 'Lost Years'.

I was dealing with custody issues after my divorce, got remarried and was either having a baby or had just had one for the first several years.

After that I was working full time, as was HeMan Hubby, who was also going to school full time, while trying to deal with babies, bills, and the trials and tribulations of teenagers.

I was waiting for the life I had expected to have by that point in time to start... and more than a little bewildered that it had not.

As I neared the end of that decade I was diagnosed with several problems that had been problems for years, but had not been taken seriously.

I agreed to the hysterectomy my doctor had recommended for 10 years.
I was diagnosed with first, Fibromyalgia.
Then Lupus. 

As a nurse I had heard of both of these. I was a bit disconcerted as the former was not considered a "real" disease by many physicians, and the latter was not really understood by the world at large although millions of people have it.

Thus my 30's came to an end leaving me feeling as if I had spent the last 10 years living in a fog, on auto pilot , without really living the life I had expected.

Looking back,  I realize that is exactly what I had been doing.
Living on autopilot, as had HeMan Hubby
We were doing what we had to do to provide for our children. 
Yes, our marriage remained intact, but not without work on both our parts. 
And yes, the years spent sacrificing were worth it. 

Going back to school enabled him to enter a new career field in which he excels.
And I am able to spend more time with my children , enjoying the young people they are becoming.

As I begin this decade that is my 40's,  we are more financially stable than we have ever been. And with luck and hard work, we will be able to manage through these tough economic times.

I look at the coming decade as my " Dawning Years"
I am learning to be more than a wife, a mother, a caregiver... I am learning the Who I am that is behind all of those labels.

I think that I shall like this person very much and I hope that you, my friends, will too.
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